ME MYSELF (THE 3rd)

Dear friends,

A daughter, a wife &  a  mother;  that’s what I am today.

A lady who is 68 years young and raring to go…

Life…has dealt with me or I have dealt with circumstances as they unfolded along the path of life,   where time & tide took its toll. Today I wish to write some things   personal..

Some say,  I  have a natural flare for writing,  some say ,  my language is a bit too flowery; some say I should write a book, some say well , its  just   so so;   while quite a few say :

I should make small video clippings!! 

A-a-a-a-n-d–  I’m   sure many would be laughing out at my such blatant admissions!!!!t

To understand the psychology , of LIFE,   and in a simple way wanting to understand My SELF And what is..  LIFE  & LIVING.!!! Lets discuss further…. 

Living my life, living with my family,   as I interact with each and every one at home , outside our home, with relatives, with  neighbours,  within the community that we belong to, like every one else,  I feel its time we try and unravel this mystery of LIFE.

In the first five episodes I wrote on “This is Life”, and then I treaded on to “LIFE & LIVING”. Now,   while you live -you naturally interact with people around, – those people are either your friends , comrades, colleague’s, or relatives!!   Whether you are friendly or not with your relatives, is a matter of  palpable consideration,   but notwithstanding  its- all “DOST & DOSTI”   that always runs SUPREME.  So I have touched on all these topics  in the first four episodes of mine!  Following this, I then ventured out on to the most important requirement’s  of or for any human being.  RKM..ROTI/ KAPDA AUR MAKAAN-(5^th episode)  But here if you re-read this episode, it’s RKM diversified!  You should re-read RKM to understand what I mean by RKM diversified, I’ve given RKM a tangential twist!!

And then after RKM,  I thought, its high time I now write some thing about myself, lest you get bored of my written scripts and wonder who the author is?

So, out came tumbling a little here and a little there of myself,(6 th episode) and my family. Yes, I did share my school  days, and how being the daughter of an Army officer we changed schools and how change of schooling coupled   with changing of companions/ and teachers, all lead n helped my personality get evolved. I also briefly talked about my family.

And then  I was itching to get back to the herculean and humongous topic of RELATIONSHIPS , and after that, I wanted to write on Life and lets find ways n means and how to work on our LIFE;

I’m sure you would have found them hard hitting, maybe boring, and without juice or any interesting masala. Thats when I started to write about the basics of  “ EMOTIONS”. How they play a pivotal role on / in our life and how we can make / mar our life if we learn the art of emoting well, which then brought me to the next topic of   “ESSENCE OF LIFE”!!!

Yes,   after hard hitting serious and near complicated topics I wanted you n myself to unwind and relax, so then I poured out my heart in the next episode (11th)of “ME & MYSELF -2^nd” !!.

Here it was time to give an insight into what n how I became the way I am today ; who all helped me modulate my mind and my psyche.

Yes ,   I wrote about my father & my Grand father- and also briefly touched upon my Mom and how I was, and am still impressed by my Nani.

Ab, bari aayee bataney ki , ki mein ek doctor hoon, to fir naturally I wanted to write some things that gave credibility to my profession and an insight to my passion : a PREVENTION DOCTOR, so out came an episode ..”AFTER ALL ..I’AM A DOCTOR”,

Post this article,   I wrote one on “HEALTH & SICKNESS”, and then made an elaborate write up covering the new nomenclature I coined during KORONA KAAL: “WEALTHINESS VS   W_ HEALTHINESS”. I wrote  this   during KORONA Kaal ( it was published in PUNJAB Kesari at that time).Since it was preety long,  I had to divide it into three partes for my blogs.

And now, after all the hard n harsh hitting fundas that I have enunciated- I thought , its time to relax, to unwind, to talk a little about My self again…

So here is one as my 18^th episode,

Its time here I write about the females of my LIFE who helped me shape  into what I am today:

MY MOTHER, MY MASI, MY NANI

My Mother:  Mrs  Vimla Anand, eldest born of Mr. Dewan Ram Chand and Smt. Saraswati Devi

My Nanaji was sent by his  Advocate father- Dewan Khilinda Ram of Multan (now in Pakistan) to England , where he graduated  as a Barrister and returned to his motherland and worked there.

I can probably write a lot about my impressions and memoirs of our stay with them , when we went to stay with them  during holidays at ROHTAK (Haryana) where they retired n settled down after partition.

Well, my mother was a house wife, and a stern ,  and  strict, disciplinarian as I remember her.

She always wanted us kids to keep the room tidy, fold our clothes and place them in cupboards properly, and eat food at the proper time.

We grew up more under her chaperonage as father being from the services had to go to field areas, where families were not allowed to go.

Nuances of house keeping, folding of washed & dried clothes, ironing of clothes for the family was part of my extra curricular activities.

Mama’s house help did not come in – every  evening, she was irregularly regular!  And since mother used to remain quite unwell, especially in the evening hours,   the burden of cooking fell on my wee shoulders ; So, she slowly  initiated me into cooking simple basic meals,  which I gradually  picked up, initially to help her, but later on many an evening dinner was cooked by me , along with the chapatis. So basics of day to day cooking I learnt from her while I was in classes 6/7/8 itself!!! I did feel cha grained , many a time, for   what was a duty  for me initially,  (a couple of my friends knew,  n would jest once in a while  that Amita cannot come for the evening walk ..since she has to cook the evening meal)!;  later on became a practice and I learnt many more dishes from her as I moved up the ladder of time and tide  ( besides the school, the home work and cooking in the evenings, I thus learnt the art to juggle myself in all these roles,..) And I became more proficient and more confident of myself. 

Next, I owe to my mom a huge gratitude;  Seeing my interest in Music- she got me a tutor who came home and taught me Harmonium and Tabla. When we shifted base to Jabalpur as I mentioned to you earlier, a Piano was brought home and I learnt Piano at school and practiced at home. I still remember the time when I gave my music exams, how anxious n worried I was!!!

My mother loved having people around;  she loved entertaining and cooking food for friends and relatives, she took great care of all of us, respected all elders in the extended family, gave credit n care to the helpers and caretakers who assisted her in home care, but used the iron rod and that’s what made us disciplined and independent; would not brook any nonsense, would not let us bunk school, always saw a movie first , and if parents approved , we were allowed to see it, she would read the fiction books that were given from my school library , before she decided that I could read it.

Well, that’s what my mother stood for.

A highly principled, righteous , disciplined lady, who was vocal about her likes and dislikes; if she did not approve a thing, would comment her mind clear & loud, she loved helping out, who so ever- but asked  her for help , and was much wanted by relatives , esp. during family weddings, where she would be called in a  few days before  the functions.  She would take over the kitchen, and right from Menu planning , she would cook to the delight of all around.

She taught me discipline, decorum, being clear in mind and never to fear while expressing your views or desires. Yes –I loved my mother , but was scared of her temper.

My MASI:  Mrs Lalita Kinra, w/o Mr Hari Chand Kinra.

(..we share the same b’day) 

 Always remember her as a very bright FULLON intelligent lady, who always has some jokes / stories up her sleeves, when ever we two families would meet at ROHTAK.

Her command of English language, her pronunciations, and delivery of some beautiful poems & proverbs are still etched in my mind.  Once when my Mausa ji  suffered a major heart attack, I was sent to Ernakulam  where they used to stay.  Aim of sending me was to assist my Masi and be with her, coz, my two other siblings still had exams that were looming large, on their heads.  I had just finished my Matric exams , and being the only free person was saddled off to Ernakulam with a fauji couple.  (first time unaccompanied by immediate family,_- it sure was an experience)

I was sent since my mom could not go. How much I was of assistance I do not know, what I know is that I came back flushed with experience ,  learnt a lot from her, she saw to it that I visited a lot of places, with her best of friends  (see, I told you my Mausa ji was unwell, and convalasceing and she saw to it that I was not ignored).   Stayed with   her for nearly more than two & half months and came back enamored by her personality and enigma!!

Friends,   you will be amused n pleasured to learn that she is almost 94 years young today, Yes, age has taken  a toll on her physical self, but she can still outwit any one in days/ dates/ incidents/ stories of the remote past, should you but ask her, provided she is not tormented by her aches n pains that day.

Just to tell you, what all she still does in her 24 hour regime:

She paints, she plays the cassio, a  makes a lot of handicrafts. Seeing her zest for life , I feel ashamed to say im growing OLD!!!

And now my grandmother,

My NANI..Smt Saraswati devi

(My Nani & my son) 

  A  lady- I still admire the most.  My Nani has been my Mentor along with my father.

While my father held my hand and inducted me into the nuance of being a good orator,( he used to say: you are my only daughter…I love you loads; but Anoop is our first born & Chottu our youngest, and I love them to the moon & back.)  So , if I was  his apples eye so were they  his two blue eyed stars.

He had a way with words, and knew how to deliver what and where, made every one around comfortable.He was the best- one could have for a father , friend, philosopher , guide n mentor!

My Nanaji I owe my diction, my pronunciations, my indepth knowledge about, all / many abbreviations, what they stood for , & how to speak without faltering and make fluent, continuous sentences rolled into long paragraphs, it was my NANI, who actually taught me how to handle LIFE.

Obviously, I cannot do justice by writing just a couple of pages on her.

She was a staunch Arya Samagist.to quote about her: SUCH WAS HER CHARISMA: She was expected to go for the weekly Sunday HAVANS, and when she faltered ‘coz of his frail health, the ARYA SAMAJ started holding weekly HAVANS at their home.

As a kid , when ever we visited them, out of the few   tasks expected out of me, besides reading  the news paper for my NANAJI (I mentioned  earlier- remember…), I sat with her for the daily Havan.  And , you will be amused to know, I still remember 50% of the shlokas , which we used to enunciate then , I do so even now!!

I need to mention how she had a way of making you think the way we should:

I’m told- I was very fond of Nonveg. So,post one of the Havan sessions she held my hand and said…”Meat/ Chicken dish- ek jeev jantu ki hatya karke banta hai. Usko hum pakatey hain aur us jeev ko fir hum khatey hain.

Hum jeev hatya kartey hain!

 Kya kisi ki hatya karke usko khana chahiye??

I was so shaken, so disturbed, I stopped taking Non veg and it took me several years to get back to even tasting it again.

Such was her influence on me.

She once gave me three little booklets when I was in class 8

1)           VAID RAJ-NIMBOO

2). VAIDRAJ AANWALA

   .3) VAID RAJ.. TULSI.

I still have her these three booklets.

She always wanted to be a doctor,   but if only wishes were horses…..

WELL,  she  practiced a lot of naturopathic remedies ,   many of them we follow in our home even now.

Her special attributes:

A  quiet, simply speaking, very hard working lady who went about doing the family chores, doing her marketing errands, and managing cooking and took care of the huge house that they lived in. I never  ever  saw her  complaining, or in bed/lazing  when time n requirement expected her to be up and  about tending to some job/ errand.

And enigmatic , die hard optimist,  whose qualities I will never be able to write and do justice about.

About LIFE

The Saar of life, the Gist, the Crux, I know not whether she made it to that stage or phase, but I never saw her complaining about anything.

My parents would have their own experiences to share, but I would like to add that as long as she was around,  she always guided me , and guided me with absolute correctness, and explained to me what was right from wrong.

There are many a incidents I can quote but that is beyond the scope here. 

Just one incident:

I did most of my Med. school studies after marriage,(that’s a complete new chapter I will not talk about as of now). But, once when my husband was doing a course in PUNE and I was at BHOPAL trying to study for my up & coming exams, we got a trunk call that he was  admitted in MH  (Military hospital) .  I was worried , anxious,& naturally tense.  Had my exams in 15 days time, and husband in hospital at Pune!!

I found myself in,an incorrigible delimma!!

Mom wanted  me to study , that husband would get better and I should not worry, I wanted to naturally go,I sought my Nanis advise.

She said “ Exam hota rahega-Go, he needs you now.!!

Much to the chagrin of my mom, I left. Of course, my studies suffered, but it was a learning, and how to weigh one over the other, I learnt from her.

This was an important lesson of my LIFE

(My Nanaji& Naniji) 

Zindagi ki daastan yun he chalti rahi, aur yun he aur aagey chaltee rahegi..

Bachpan se ladakpan, ladakpan se college,

College chod kar shaadi kari, apni padai ki raftaar me rukaavat aa gayee.

Kya zindagi rukeee???????

Kya sooraj aur chanda ji ne aana chod diya????

Aap bhi jantey hain…waqt gujarta gaya—-

Mein 20 se 30, 30 se 40, 40 se aur aagey badtee rahi…

Mere parivaar ko sanjotee rahi…

Haan- waqt    mila , sama aaya , aur padaii poori bhi ki. Doston: DOCTOR BHI BAN gayee

Zindagi ka kaaravaan chalta raha .

Mein yun he aagey agrasar hoti rahi!!

Mere poorvajon ne jo jo mujhe samjhaya, jo jo meine apnaya, uska falsafa …Aaj mein hoon!!

Is par aap ko, aaiwam Me- myself -3^rd ko chodti hoon aur aap sab se  request karti hoon ki aap sab aapne poorvajon ko apne saath, apne man me rakheyin, aur unke aashirvaad se aur aagey baedeyin , aur aagey shikhar par chadeyin.

Lest, you get teased off with my monologue, lets take a break here from Me- Myself now. Shall return on this topic .. 5 episodes later

Till then

Lets enjoy what i’m going to share in the next ones that will come sooooooon…… 

Ba bye….