Complexity No-13

SO ITS ALL ABOUT EGO….

Zindagi ek rahasya hai

Zindagi ek Puzzle hai

Zindagi ek safar bhi hai

Roz roz naye naye pahlu dekhney ko miltey hain….
kabhi Uttaar to kabhi Chadaav-

Na jane agley  pal kyaa hoga—Kissi ko pata nahi.

Yeh woh gufaa hai- jisse koi bhed paya nahi….

Koi poorna tah samajh paya nahi..

Kitne he log pooja path kar ke ghar se nikaltey hain, raasta sukahd ho, kaamna kartey hain, dahi cheeni kha.. ke safar ka aagaman shuru  bhi kartey hain—

BUT- PARANTU- LEKIN- KINTU,

Kya sab jantey hain ki sab poorna tah: theek rahegaaaa?

Fir bhi yaatra kartey hain, kaamna kartey hain. Abhilashaayein  paaltey hain.

We all live on hope.

Hope is our biggest saviour. We may plan, think,  re- plan,  research, and then take our journey ahead. Yet ,we know not the consequences.

People who embarked on the plane that crashed recently killing so many lives!!!,

The devastation, the   horror,   the inescapable  reality that spelt gloom all over, stayed for weeks rolled into months. So many examples are rampant. A peep into the Newspapers/ social media, or TV channels will make us all steep into depths of despair.

BUT IS  THERE A CHOICE—??

I started my blogging practice with “THIS IS LIFE”. As I sat down to write a lot of aspects came to the fore front and I just wrote on-and on – on a no of topics, a no. of subjects that were /are very close to my heart. I hope I made some sense.

And soon- I thought,  that I had written 24 of them, and also came to realise, that life is so very complex that we need to also touch on some relevant topics that make life complex. Thus the out   pouring’s  carried on. I started to find ways and means, why LIFE HAS BECOME SO COMPLEX>

I have in my amateur way tried to dissect a few aspects and what really it has boiled down to is

EGO

EGO according to me is the biggest culprit.  All other emotions stem from here . Conversely a lot of emotions, all also converge on to EGO.

I’m not going to research into the definitions , types  of EGO< but will definitely write some names n few sub types of EGO ..one has seen such words off and on in writings in magazines and editorials.

SO there is a

 PSEUDO EGO, A FALSE EGO, AN OVER RATED EGO.

SELF ESTEEM /SELF IMPORTANCE

Then There is a  PARENT EGO STATE, ADULT EGO STATE &  a CHILD EGO STATE!!
_______________________________________

Acc. To RAMCHARITMAMAS —EGO TYPES are:
BODY EGO ,CASTE EGO, WEALTH EGO & KNOWLEDGE EGO !!

Acc to SIGMUND FREUD>>>>> it is also called as ID/THE EGO /AND SUPER EGO!!!

So many types and so much detailing we can find. It’s a lot confusing as well. I’m thus going to write   straight from my heart.

Ego should be  recognised by caretakers / parents  and time should be created to curb the false ego’s n pseudo ego states.

Ego hurts because it is deeply connected to your sense of self worth.

Bruised ego—requires external validation.

An ego driven person   priotises  his own needs, refuses to admit faults ,struggles to understand his partner’s perspective, coupled with reluctance to apologise.. .. leading to misunderstandings between partners / siblings -who ever.

Ego destroys communication, there is lack of empathy, ego might lead to levels of dishonesty, making authentic communication impossible

Withdrawl from communications and or reluctance to meet the individuals

Affairs/ addictions/ excessive anger -these three A’s are deal breakers.

Also 4 key predictors of a bad relationship…

Criticism/Defensiveness/ Contempt and Stonewalling… All this may lead to communication behaviour characterised by shutting down, withdrawing and emotionally disengaging from a conversation or interaction with a partner.

 As also , Most importantly Lack of trust and EGO can divide marriage___ Break it

I’m just trying to drive home a point,  that be it a relationship that has gone sour between Siblings/  Niblings/  Piblings/ Friends / Colleague’s or Contemporary partners,

Mool Mudda is –

                                                                 EGO

It is the EGO that , if not curtailed, if not controlled , if not contained- that will bring Hell- Nell into our lives!!!

It will always be the EGO that will super impose itself in all relationships!!

I have already explained in one of my previous episodes that when two parties suddenly decide to mend ways, to bridge the divide, the relation    ships will come back to being one again.

But, when relationships   between husband and wife start going astray, when all remedial measures do not work, marriage may be on the brink of a divorce.. Do you understand what havoc plays in the minds of the concerned people. I’m now, very soon  going to touch on this extra sensitive topic of the How’s & Why’s , the  ultra-damaging   sequalae  that are normally the outcome of a broken marriage.

It is the time to time counselling, cajoling, coaxing that may be very important between the warring parties; But I shall cover all this in my forthcoming episodes>>>>

SO dear friends ,

….look out for yet another series of Complexities of Life –between HUSBAND & WIFE.

But befoe that a reprieve_ Thought id like to give   some more information about my self. _a few incidents thay will make u understand who and what am I.

So lets wait for me- Myself the FOURTH