COMMITMENTS
COMMITMENTS
Commitment in a relationship is the conscious, intentional decision to maintain a long term bond, characterized by loyalty, trust and mutual effort, even during challenges.
It goes beyond staying together:
It involves actively nurturing a relationship, prioritising your partner and sharing the future together.
Commitment towards diff members of the family:
1) The relationship between parents and their children. It starts when you have babies. A sense of responsibility, a sense of commitment that more often than not covers the whole life span.
2) Invisible thread of commitment binds the parents to their children. The parents feel responsible to see, govern, help their child through all stages of development, and take pride and responsibility towards total ownership of their kids.
3) The relationship towards Siblings/Piblings/Niblings used to be taken by the elderly in for gone years as a life long commitment; but nowadays with the advent of so many changes, so much weightage on income earning, managing the unnecessary demand of their own immediate families, along with one’s own desires, ambitions, and achievements of futuristic goals, the reach out towards the members of the extended family has lost its fervor.
The nuclear family norm which is the ‘IN‘ thing today has shrunk the scope to be limited to one’s own family only.
4) The responsibility of the kids towards the elders, even their own parents has also gone liquified to a large extent. The reasons can be one to many.
Not really wanting to ignore their Own parents, time tide speed of life catapulting forward; the summersault herculean speed with which the demand of life, along with trying to keep pace with the ambitions and over incessant desires of the immediate family members (kids/ wife), may be some of the few basic reasons why the importance of taking care of their own elders has taken a back seat.
5) Now, there is yet a very important and pertinent commitment of Man with his lawfully wedded wife!!!
Marriage is an important part of an individual’s life. I would say, a very imp and integral part. It is a LIFE LONG COMMITMENT.
We have discussed a lot of issues related to marriage, marital discord, major and minor reasons of marital discord, compatibility and adjustment that can lead to happy married life, and finally one episode recently written on FEAR OF MARRIAGE!!!!
If this is by far, the most important of all commitments, if marriage break up is so full of strife and tension; plus mayhem and anxiety reiden anguish; then kahan gayee importance of marriage, kahan gaya commitment…………?
Kahan gaye woh waadey, who kasmey..woh magic… woh karisma?????
The speed with which the marriages are breaking up, the percentage at which people are seeking divorce, the intensity at which the discord is creating ripples in society, the dirt, the mud slinging insults, the barrage and tirade of boundless anger, frustration the anger the wrath…!!!
Is it really worth even considering marriage in today’s scenario, if very soon all is going to crumble at the altar of EGO???
Yes, besides, a whale long list of reasons why marriages are crumbling, does it all not boil down to EGO?
I personally think :
EGO is the one and only main factor that is entirely responsible to make or mar a marriage.
EGO is a Jadoo ki pudiya
EGO is fragile
EGO can be innocuous
EGO can be fulminating
EGO can be frustrating
EGO is self respect- the spectrum of which can be from one end of simple, subtle, calm and quiet self to an extremely arrogant, highly strung, highly short tempered person who can/may stoop to violence if he doesn’t have the fortitude and maturity to handle his own mind, and use ways and means to lower his anger and control his over egoistical nature.
There are times when one is not in control of his ego- it may tumble down as an outburst on his children -many a time, very seldom on his own parents , but more so on his WIFE.
The man thinks WIFE is his very own property!!!
He has the RIGHT to shout at her as and when he likes…
He may not respect her, he may use her, abuse her, insult her as and when he wants or cannot control his emotions and the outburst, the tirade most of the time falls on his wife.
Similarly the wife of today, the woman of today who is well read, educated, accomplished, and almost/semi equal partner, income generating woman, who knows what she wants.
She too has her own likes and dislikes,
God has given her a mind, and she has now started to use it !!
The same frustration, the same anger, the same short- tempered ness , the same out burst, the pent up emotions spilling out on the family members. These days , even the woman , many a time inflicts similar outbursts, many a times on inlaws, may not even spare her own parents at times.
What to talk about with their own husband!!
So, it all boils down to containing your self respect. Self worth.
Exhibiting self constraint, exercising patience and trying ways and means to control your own EGO!!
Controlling your Ego is critical to saving marriage, becoz it replaces the need to be ‘Right” with a desire to foster connection, empathy and humility.
A dominant EGO fuels defensiveness, prevents vulnerability and turns a conflict into a battle ground.
By choosing to apologize first and prioritise the relationship over winning arguments, couples can restore trust and intimacy.
EGO…..Stifles Vulnerability
Creates Distance
Priorities winning
Blocks communication.
Ego can also lead to controlling behavior in a marriage. ONE PARTNER may try to dominate over the other to feel in control, or feel superior. This often stems from insecurity or a deep fear of losing power, which again may be deep rooted in unresolved emotional struggles from yester years.
Leave your ego at the door—best marriage tip
A book —MARRIAGE AND EGO WITHIN!—BAZI BUSSSSSURI.
He says…..
You and your spouse are like a sandwich in married life.
You are one slice, spouse is the other slice.
What you put in between the two slices is upto you.
Friends: A lot can be said about commitment, how much of commitment is now out on a measuring scale.
While , generally the man has very high expectations from his wife, , and expects her to drive the wheel of marriage, wholly on her own, it’s the woman of today that has now learnt to retaliate, to answer back, to try and uphold her own image and that of her own family. As I mentioned , its all about an equilibrium, a balance between the EGO status of man and his wife, how much of tolerance one can exhibit over the other, its all a balance that must be handled with care, by both members of the family, the relatives , the immed. family all play a crucial- part in each and every process when commitments are going astray!!!!
This is a matter of great debate…..the social media is afire with so many Q.s regarding all this.
But what I need to explain is that this EGO, this self realization, this coming to accept ones own personality, did not happen overnight.
I’m now in the next two/ three episodes going to talk about EMANCIPATION OF WOMEN!!!
Let’s see how the woman evolved over the ages n stages, how she learnt the meaning of self realization, how she slowly and steadily educated herself, and so much more.
Hope you are enjoying my most meaningful episodes that come straight from my heart.
Please look out for EMANCIPATION OF WOMEN after this>>>>
Au revoir….for NOW….
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